Monday, July 22, 2013

Quit Trying to Be A Perfect Mom




It all starts somewhere in elementary or middle school. That girl has a prettier dress than you. This girl is better at math. 

In high school it's the girl that gets her license and drives to school in a nice new car. The other girl has a dad that gives her unlimited spending money. 

We live in a society that encourages comparing yourself to others non-stop. It's just what people do. Unfortunately it makes for a very unhappy you, because while you may see a part of a person and envy that part, you don't see the whole person or their whole life. You end up deciding you don't measure up.

Just like when we visit someone we usually see their 'guests are visiting house' not their 'everyday living house'. Just like when you read a blog, you usually see the best parts of that family's life.

My blog? Well, I don't exactly want to bombard you with all the imperfections or struggles of my life. I want to inspire and most bloggers aim for that. I want to share the fun highlights, the recipes I don't make every day, and photos that may leave out the messy parts of my house. I am so, so far from perfect. We all are.

You know what? It's great to be inspired. To strive to do better. Sometimes we just need some motivation or a kick on the behind. But don't let your failures and shortcomings deprive you of a joy filled life! 

Just focus on what's next. It can be overwhelming to constantly be thinking of laundry and meals and vacuuming and work and deadlines and yard work and bath times. Just think one task at a time. Right now I will write this post. Right now we'll sit down and read a book. Right now I'll just throw in one load. Right now I can wash the dishes.

Stop adding unrealistic goals and expectations to your to-do list. Stop trying to please everyone. You don't have to be at every event. You don't have to cart them to every extracurricular activity. You don't have to live a burn-out life. 

Start enjoying the little moments. Start letting go of perfection. Start focusing in on just today. Start thinking of what your kids want to remember you like. They don't care for a perfect mom, they just want a loving mom.

Quit trying to be perfect and try just being yourself. Stay true to you and what you believe in. Stop comparing yourself to others. If you need a break from Pinterest, reading blogs (including this one!), and social media - so be it. Do what it takes to find your imperfect self and embrace it!

I have my moments, but for the most part I gave up comparing myself to other moms and you know what? It's very liberating!

What helps you let go of being 'perfect'?



14 comments:

  1. Awesome post. Thinking about the way my husband and daughter love me (even with all my imperfections) helps me not to dwell on being perfect. But it sure can be difficult! Thanks for the reminder to not be so hard on ourselves. :)

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    1. Thank you for your comment Keara! Yes, my kids' unconditional love sure puts things in perspective :)

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  2. Lovely! Thank you for posting the link in the comments on my blog. Every word of this is true and should be read by girls and women of all ages.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by and for your kind words Amy!

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  3. I recently had an experience where I planned a day of fun for my two year old son, and it all went kind of wrong, but he had a blast anyway. I was really sad and disappointed until I realized that he didn't care and was just completely thrilled to be with my husband and me. It was eye-opening. I think it's true that being in the moment and enjoying what's happening right now can be very liberating. Thanks for this post.

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    1. Thank you for sharing your experience Laura! I've just witnessed the same thing first hand, we just came back from our vacation today, 2 days earlier than planned, it all went horribly wrong (I'm going to write about it on the blog!) - but the kids loved it and they were only upset about leaving and not everything that went wrong. :)

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  4. I have never strived to be perfect, I have no desire to be. I am happy to be an adequate parent.

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    1. Thankfully I never have either, or I would drive myself nuts. Come to think of it, all through school and all aspects of life I somehow managed to be myself and not imitate anyone :) That's the most stress free way to live life!

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  5. I completely agree! I have always told my parent-friends they don't have to be perfect, they just have to be "good enough." Try your best and if you fail today, try your best again tomorrow. Your kids will forgive you, I promise, just like we forgave our parents when they tried and failed.

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    1. Thank you for your comment! Yes, as parents we all need to cut each other some slack :)

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  6. This is a great post.. I find myself feeling down at times because I can't get everything done that I'd like to throughout the day, but I have to take a step back and realize I am not "super mom" and I am enough for my daughter!

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    1. Thanks for the comment Sarah! You are absolutely enough for your daughter :)

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  7. Letting go of trying to be perfect all the time has been one of my biggest struggles in motherhood. Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece. It was a great reminder.

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    1. You're welcome Kimmie, and thank you for your comment!

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